Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Girl in Hijab
I was telling my friend about the whole program and screenngsa and discussions we have had. She shared a very interesting incident which I wrote down making a few changes here and there.
I met her on a global leadership program. She was in my group. When I met her I decided that I don’t like her. Why, you would ask. I did not like her because she was wearing a hijab.
I was a staunch feminist, at least I believed so. In fact I think all women are feminists of certain degree. Thought I did not believe in eliminating all the men from universe, I still believed in fighting for one’s rights and not following customs blindly. So I simply could not understand how an educated, young girl can agree to wear something as constrictive as a hijab. So I decided to not like her. So I decided not to talk to her.
But I did talk to her. That day I was crying in my room. She came in, held my hand soothed me. I didn’t want to talk to her when but she asked what happened, I told her.
“I had fight with my boyfriend. He thinks I am not giving him enough time, not calling him up enough”.
I didn’t want to talk to her but, she advised me, I listened.
“You really don’t someone who makes you cry. You really don’t need someone who is insecure about you. What sort of a partner he is if does not understand you preoccupations. Why are you crying for him?”
I didn’t want to talk to her but I talked and we talked for hours. We talked about music and we talked about food. We talked about films and we even discussed feminism. And I discovered she is more of a feminist than I am. We discussed everything from Simone de Beavouir to Taslima Nasrin. More often than not she had more to say than me.
We became Best friends. On the program we were inseparable. We shopped together, partied together. We had similar choices. We bought same kurtas and wore them together. She just added a hijab to her attire.
But still I could not understand why she, a liberal, a champion of women’s liberty wore a hijab. One day I asked her this question expecting a deeply philosophical reasoning about culture and religion.
“I wear it because I want to wear it. No one told me to. It is a part of my identity. It is something which I have been wearing since long back. I don’t mind wearing it because I don’t attach the notions people attached to a simple piece of garment. It is like you have your father’s name attached with you and that name becomes your identity. It is as simple as that!”
And really isn’t it as simple as that? Why attach certain meanings to something as inane as a headscarf. Had I not met the person behind the hijab I would have lost a beautiful friend. I am lucky that I met the girl in hijab and got to know the girl behind hijab.
I met her on a global leadership program. She was in my group. When I met her I decided that I don’t like her. Why, you would ask. I did not like her because she was wearing a hijab.
I was a staunch feminist, at least I believed so. In fact I think all women are feminists of certain degree. Thought I did not believe in eliminating all the men from universe, I still believed in fighting for one’s rights and not following customs blindly. So I simply could not understand how an educated, young girl can agree to wear something as constrictive as a hijab. So I decided to not like her. So I decided not to talk to her.
But I did talk to her. That day I was crying in my room. She came in, held my hand soothed me. I didn’t want to talk to her when but she asked what happened, I told her.
“I had fight with my boyfriend. He thinks I am not giving him enough time, not calling him up enough”.
I didn’t want to talk to her but, she advised me, I listened.
“You really don’t someone who makes you cry. You really don’t need someone who is insecure about you. What sort of a partner he is if does not understand you preoccupations. Why are you crying for him?”
I didn’t want to talk to her but I talked and we talked for hours. We talked about music and we talked about food. We talked about films and we even discussed feminism. And I discovered she is more of a feminist than I am. We discussed everything from Simone de Beavouir to Taslima Nasrin. More often than not she had more to say than me.
We became Best friends. On the program we were inseparable. We shopped together, partied together. We had similar choices. We bought same kurtas and wore them together. She just added a hijab to her attire.
But still I could not understand why she, a liberal, a champion of women’s liberty wore a hijab. One day I asked her this question expecting a deeply philosophical reasoning about culture and religion.
“I wear it because I want to wear it. No one told me to. It is a part of my identity. It is something which I have been wearing since long back. I don’t mind wearing it because I don’t attach the notions people attached to a simple piece of garment. It is like you have your father’s name attached with you and that name becomes your identity. It is as simple as that!”
And really isn’t it as simple as that? Why attach certain meanings to something as inane as a headscarf. Had I not met the person behind the hijab I would have lost a beautiful friend. I am lucky that I met the girl in hijab and got to know the girl behind hijab.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
a new flight
i alwats wanted to do some thing different, something that will satisfy me. than i heard about film with the wings. that was the platform i really wanted to be in and is it was with pravah it became more closer to me as i was sure to be comfortable at work. i filled up the form and expected and prayed hard to get through. finally i got a call that i am SELECTED. i was too happy to explain. this also boosted up my confidence and my believe in me.
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE 4 ME
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE 4 ME
Monday, August 31, 2009
ROOTS
Hey! I wrote something long time back just like that. Thought I should share with you. Hopefully its readable:)
Madhulika
When you are in a group one question that generally arises is, which state do you belong to? Are you a Gujrati or a Marathi or a Upite? This is one question I dread answering. I am sweating now. I am a Punjabi. Oh! A Punjabi, so cool. So which place actually in Punjab? Actually I have been to Punjab just once and even then I was very small. I am basically a Delhi waala Punjabi. Oh! So basically you are a refugee, right? God please call me to you. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp. Yes, I am. Oh! the surprised gasp, Oh! the pity. It is much easier to swim in shark infested waters, my brain is screaming. My pulse has increased to 100. I am blankly nodding and smiling. I am staring at floor and biting my nail. I am searching for ……..umm…..let’s call it my ROOTS.
So now start with the story, finally! Yes my grandparents have come from Pakistan. My Appaji used to tell me stories about his childhood in Pakistan, how he came after parition, how he studied hard and ultimately topped in his engineering college. I used to treasure these stories as a legacy passed onto me by my beloved Appaji. For me pakistan was a house or rather a group of houses where my grandparents lived and a ground where they all played. It was a symbol of their childhood. In short it was a place where my ROOTS were.
As I grew I realized and learned from my contemporaries that Pakistan is not a place to love. You can hate it, sympathize with it, dispassionately analyze it and abuse it when you are playing a cricket match against it. But loving……it was out of question. With time I too got detached with Pakistan. And in my effort to separate myself from Pakistan, I lost my grandparent’s childhoods; I lost their laughter and cries, those stories no more held much importance. Pakistan became a country as shown in J.P.Dutta’s movies.
I eventually lost my ROOTS
People inquire me about my native place, my state. I feel as I have been caught off guard. Someone has taken my ability to talk and has forced me into a debate. Thousands of ants are gnawing me from within. I feel numb. It is almost as if you have been proud of something throughout your life and you realize that it is a farce. I feel as if some has cut my ROOTS.
It is not as if I don’t love my country. I am an Indian and proud to be one. India has given me an identity, India has given me my rights and along that responsibilities. It has completed me as a person. But it failed to provide me with a native place. It has not given me the assurance that after 60 years and 3 generations of my family living here, I won’t be called a refugee. In short it has failed to provide me with….how to put it…….ROOTS.
Madhulika
When you are in a group one question that generally arises is, which state do you belong to? Are you a Gujrati or a Marathi or a Upite? This is one question I dread answering. I am sweating now. I am a Punjabi. Oh! A Punjabi, so cool. So which place actually in Punjab? Actually I have been to Punjab just once and even then I was very small. I am basically a Delhi waala Punjabi. Oh! So basically you are a refugee, right? God please call me to you. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp. Yes, I am. Oh! the surprised gasp, Oh! the pity. It is much easier to swim in shark infested waters, my brain is screaming. My pulse has increased to 100. I am blankly nodding and smiling. I am staring at floor and biting my nail. I am searching for ……..umm…..let’s call it my ROOTS.
So now start with the story, finally! Yes my grandparents have come from Pakistan. My Appaji used to tell me stories about his childhood in Pakistan, how he came after parition, how he studied hard and ultimately topped in his engineering college. I used to treasure these stories as a legacy passed onto me by my beloved Appaji. For me pakistan was a house or rather a group of houses where my grandparents lived and a ground where they all played. It was a symbol of their childhood. In short it was a place where my ROOTS were.
As I grew I realized and learned from my contemporaries that Pakistan is not a place to love. You can hate it, sympathize with it, dispassionately analyze it and abuse it when you are playing a cricket match against it. But loving……it was out of question. With time I too got detached with Pakistan. And in my effort to separate myself from Pakistan, I lost my grandparent’s childhoods; I lost their laughter and cries, those stories no more held much importance. Pakistan became a country as shown in J.P.Dutta’s movies.
I eventually lost my ROOTS
People inquire me about my native place, my state. I feel as I have been caught off guard. Someone has taken my ability to talk and has forced me into a debate. Thousands of ants are gnawing me from within. I feel numb. It is almost as if you have been proud of something throughout your life and you realize that it is a farce. I feel as if some has cut my ROOTS.
It is not as if I don’t love my country. I am an Indian and proud to be one. India has given me an identity, India has given me my rights and along that responsibilities. It has completed me as a person. But it failed to provide me with a native place. It has not given me the assurance that after 60 years and 3 generations of my family living here, I won’t be called a refugee. In short it has failed to provide me with….how to put it…….ROOTS.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
As we Take Off..
So after receiving loads of applications and fighting with our own 'decisions' all of last week, we finally have a 12 member team ready to embark on the journey ahead..
It all began with a screening of 'Night and Fog'. "Directed by Alain Resnais, it was made ten years after the liberation of Nazi concentration camps. The documentary features the abandoned grounds of Auschwitz and Majdanek while describing the lives of prisoners in the camps. Night and Fog was made in collaboration by two survivors of the Holocaust, including writer Jean Cayrol and composer Hanns Eisler."
Cheers:)
The Smile Team
It all began with a screening of 'Night and Fog'. "Directed by Alain Resnais, it was made ten years after the liberation of Nazi concentration camps. The documentary features the abandoned grounds of Auschwitz and Majdanek while describing the lives of prisoners in the camps. Night and Fog was made in collaboration by two survivors of the Holocaust, including writer Jean Cayrol and composer Hanns Eisler."
Juxtaposing the archival footage of the concentration camps during the holocaust with images from the 'present', this powerful film is held together by a deadpan voice narrating all that happened."The first part of Night and Fog shows remnants of Auschwitz while the narrator Michel Bouquet describes the rise of Nazi ideology. The film continues to comparisons of the life of the Schutzstaffel in comparison to the starvation of the prisoners in the camps. Bouquet then discusses the sadistic elements of the people in the camps, including torture, scientific experiments, executions and the whorehouses. The next subject is shown completely in black and white and depicts images of gas chambers and piles of bodies. The final topic of the film depicts the liberation of the country, the discovery of the horror of the camps, and the questioning of who was responsible for them." (please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_and_Fog_(film) for more details)
Alternating between past and present, black and white to colour, from disturbing images to those of 'peaceful' greenery... the documentary continues to raise questions and gather critical acclaim.
The film raised many questions from why did Nazism come up, who is actually responsible, does something like this continue to happen, have we learnt our lessons, what choice did a German have, how free is free choice to questions around what worked in the film, what did the various things symbolise, how the film spends 26 minutes on just the Holocaust and then the last few minutes on asking who is responsible and urging us to look around us...
The discussions were many.
Taking a cue from the discussions where one of the questions that came up was, what would I do if I was in the shoes of a German or a Jew... we went into a writing exercise.
'Who am I? Who is the One person that I cannot stand? What is the one conflict that I have been a part of?'
These were the three questions that each member responded to. Besides giving an insight into each one of us it also helped to clarify what helps in visualisations and hence things to keep in mind while using the film medium.
The group disbanded with Mukul Kesavan's article "Bad Manners" in hand, to continue the thought process which had started.
Today we started with a discussion on Bad Manners, but realised that most of us haven't really got around to reading it..:) so we quickly moved to"Temporary Loss of Consciousness", a film by Monica Bhasin on Partition. ( please visit http://www.lokvani.com/lokvani/article.php?article_id=2866 for more info on the documentary)
While it successfully touched some, many in the group did not really find it engaging enough. The shaking camera and the randomness of the images used did not really appeal to everyone. However the discussion proved to be extremely engaging, with some sharing how the film touched them, and disturbed them just because of the sense of chaos, confusion and disorientation that the film seemed to pick on. Some shared personal stories of their own grandparents struggling to make sense of partition and how it continues to impact their lives till date.
It also got us thinking about whether it is good to make an auf=dience really work to stay engaged with the film. In contrast to 'night and fog' this film was very non sequential and gave a sense of chaos where as the earlier one moved forward in an organised way clearly making its point. An important thought that came up was that emotion does not necessarily have to be that of horror and sadness and can be felt in different ways...
Back after a yummy samosa break, we brainstormed on what we could possible make films on... and of course it could be a music video, experimental docu, fiction, non - fiction...and anything else... we came up with tons of ideas .. which of course we still need to work on... but it was a great start...
Finally Films with wings is starting to take flight ...and it is so exciting for all of us... this is of course a space for all of us to share our thoughts, ideas, feedback and resources and we hope to see a lot more of the young people from India and Pakistan use this space...
so its upto you guys now!!!!
Cheers:)
The Smile Team
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